I realize I never got to the "Part Two" of my bike racing recount. I had a pretty good chunk of it written but ended up scrapping the whole thing for various reasons. Part two was set to summarize the Elkhorn Cycling Classic over in Baker City, Oregon, where we finished 2nd and 3rd in GC and I had a couple really great rides. But now, all of that seems so very far away and somewhat trivial during this NRC race in Bend, Oregon. Come to think of it, this is the first NRC race I've hit since Tour of Utah in 2006; to say that I'm being humbled is an understatement.
I have good fitness. Nearly great fitness, in fact. And yet I've been barely cracking the top 1/2 of riders in the past couple of stages. The Prineville Road Race on Wednesday, 83-miles in distance, was over and done in about 2 hours and 50 minutes. You can check my math here, but that equates to roughly 29.5 mph average speed... like trying to keep pace behind a motorbike with zero room for error. Santiago Botero won the stage and hence took the overall lead (you remember Botero, right?) I finished a couple of minutes down. I had made a commitment to get in a break early on, which worked out and didn't work out. I was involved in two really solid breaks that looked primed to stay away, but for who knows what reason we got brought back each time. Proof pudding can be found here, and here. I had a very poorly timed mechanical that required stopping, getting off of my bike, and manually "adjusting" my front derailleur and chain, maybe 1 km before the only major climb of the day. It was a bummer.
Yesterday, that is Thursday, I felt 10x better and was sure that I'd cracked the top fifty riders at the hilltop finish. I again tried to place myself in a breakaway but (dang it) I missed the one that went. I decided to just sit in the group, focus on efficiency and fueling and give it a go on the finishing climb. It was a rad stage and I felt like a protagonist instead of just a survivalist; I was even up in a move with a Bissell, HealthNet, Toyota United, and Type1 pro while blazing through the town of Sisters. When we hit the climb I set a good pace and dieseled up for a respectable finish....
Well it turns out that my respectable finish was about 70th place. Unbelievable. I think what has me bajito (a tidbit down) at the moment is that leading into this event I 1) underestimated the level of these top-drawer professionals and 2) overestimated my own level. I'm not throwing in the towel, nor am I spiraling down into some pity-party; but I don't feel like I was being realistic. These guys do this for a living, and it shows. So right now I'm juggling a whole lot of feelings; when I step back mentally and think of my fitness versus theirs, I am not intimidated nor feel any sort of confused frustration over the disparity. Instead, I feel that the difference between us is a result of miles logged in racing and training, and that is all.
Now, if I scale that thought back one more level and consider the big-picture balance of life, I am pleased and satisfied in the wonderful mix I've obtained. I love Lauren, I love my job, we have an amazing house and dog and a cute little Jetta wagon to drive. I would not relinquish any of those to go 20-spots faster in an NRC event... but I tell you what (and this is the struggle), I'm very much removed from my bubble of satisfaction right now. I'm here in Bend and it's all about bike racing and I love it but I'm frustrated. How's that for a mired mess of conflicting thoughts?
This morning is a time trial. I like time trialing and I think I can turn the screws on some of those skinny kids that have outclimbed me over the past two stages. Tonight is a crit, and ditto on the screw turning. They can exact their revenge tomorrow when we crest over Mt. Bachelor, twice.
-Calvin
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