China has chosen to block roughly 90% of the sites I really give a crap about, namely Blogger, Facebook, and YouTube. Any sort of proxy-dodging trickery only gets me as far as the login page. If I were an IT genius I could work around this, but for now I’ve hit a wall and am forced to save these words into WORD before sharing them with all my avid fans (heh heh).
Although this is my third trip to China, and it’s arguably similar in 99 out of every 100 details, I realize I left a few items off my “To-Bring” list. As a note to my future self, be sure to pack these next time you spend a half-month in Asia:
1) 300-grams Raw Psyllium Husk: Fibrous foods in China are harder to find than Christians at a James Dio concert. Having copious amounts of dried-down roughage would be beneficial.
2) Gum/Breath Mints: Killer spicy garlic eggplant causes killer spicy garlic eggplant breath.
3) Time-Keeping Device: Also known as a “watch”, these are critical when you normally use your cell phone for time keeping. These also prevent escalating tension between you and your travel mates.
4) Cell phone charger: If item3 is brought, this can be left at home.
5) Toilet paper: Tissues just don’t cut it, literally.
6) Napkins: See item 2. I don’t understand how to eat barbecued ribs of lamb with only tissues for cleanup.
7) Toenail clippers: Without properly groomed toenails, the massage girls are forced to bring in “man muscle”. You don’t want “man-muscle”.
8) Vocabulary: I need a working knowledge of the following words in Mandarin, Cantonese, and Taiwanese:
No thanks, I’m full.
What kind of animal is this?
This is my natural hair color.
No, just a foot massage, thank you.
Real gym towel, please. Tissues don’t work.
Traffic-jam (related to item1, above)
This reminds me of Mad Max… Can I drive?
What percent/proof is this?
Free Tibet! (or…Tell me about Tiananmen!)
